There is something that bothers my neighbor
That irritates her, makes her skin: jump, crewel
That creates a humming stammer in her voice
And even makes gaps, silent ones as she talks
To my wife, about the heap across the street.
Her kind of row is another thing indeed
Where she doesn’t let one idea, spin
Not even one iota of that fall
Lest she lose her focus once and for all.
We are talking about last week’s branches,
And what’s hiding under that heap I see.
To please my neighbor, the branches I mean,
I’d have to get rid of the pile of rubbish
The one, everyone tosses garbage underneath
That lays so crude across the street, in the park.
But if one looks around we find much more:
My wife let my neighbor know this, that day
By day, her dogs piss and shit on our lawn,
Even on the light pole, and into the heap
The one she keeps talking about: an eye on.
She watches them all right, when you are looking.
To each this burden now has fallen, the branches:
We have to use nice words to keep the balance:
“The neighbor up the block has a junk car,” my
Wife complains to her, she has no more to say.
Oh, just another kind of neighborly game,
One to each his own, it adds up to little more:
She is all heap and we are all branches.
She will never understand my branches,
Nor I, her focus on the heapthat
We alone are responsible for its parting.
If I could put an idea in her head
“Should we not all work together to rid
Our neighborhood of branches, messy dogs
Loafing cars: making for good neighbors?”
Before I hired the branch cuter, I asked him:
“Please take the branches with you, when done!”
He also is a neighbor who lives nearby.
Something irritates my neighbor about us
My wife and I, whom she gives offence to;
She moves with slyness it seems to me,
Not of concern over those dry old branches.

I’m sure she likes having thought she done well
For the Neighborhood: firmly defending her heap.

*#1314 (From a morning dream came Branches 4/14/06)) Written in Lima, Peru))

See Dennis’ web site: http://dennissiluk.tripod.com

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If you live in a hurricane prone area and you have found yourself evacuating at least two times per year then it makes sense to put a mobile video system in your SUV. Why you ask? Well, consider the evacuation in Houston Texas during hurricane Rita, which turned at the last-minute and slammed into Louisiana’s southwestern coastline.

Some people evacuating the city said they were in traffic 15 hours just to get as far as Dallas or San Antonio. If you have a mobile video player in your SUV installed prior to the mandatory evacuation then while stuck in traffic all day and watch movies or DVDs. If you live in Florida or along the Gulf Coast of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama or Texas you should definitely get a mobile video for your car. How much does a mobile video system costs?

Well, some of the ads that we see from Best Buy or Circuit City show a good mobile video system for his lowly as $499 and more expensive systems up into the $3000 range. Anyone who has ever been stuck in one of those colossal traffic jams trying to get away from a large category hurricane strike knows exactly what I am saying and they would also advise the purchase of a mobile video system for your car or SUV. Please consider this in 2006.

“Lance Winslow” - Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; http://www.WorldThinkTank.net/wttbbs/

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Maureen Dowd was on Imus the other morning plugging her new book, “Are Men Necessary”; a book I plan to buy so I can get some slightly demented insight into the mind of a troubled woman. During the interview, Imus and his sidekick Charles challenged Ms. Dowd about a female perception she had just suggested that all heterosexual men froth at the mouth at the mere mention of a trip to a strip club or the possibility of a cat fight or the chance two women might lock in lesbian love making. Imus proclaimed that he, even amidst the weakness of lowly cocaine induced comas and vodka fed stupors, never stepped inside a topless joint. Charles nodded his head in brotherhood like the bobble-head doll he is sometimes. Their point being, not all men are beasts; that some have evolved above such shameful sexual servitude.

A couple of things.

First, Imus and Charles are probably lying through their coffee stained teeth about visiting strip clubs.

Second, I have frequented such establishments years ago. I eventually concluded that go-go bars are places where prematurely balding, man-boobed, middle aged business men hire enterprising young shapely women, forming a convenient unholy alliance of distrust to tap into the cash cow created when injured fragile male egos are deceived by alcohol induced sexual fantasy. All the females need to do is squirm provocatively while whispering real sweet nothings into customers’ hair filled ears. And if carried out correctly, the dollars shoot out of the slobbering stooges like ATMs in gleeful male orgasm. Make no mistake about it; the dancer is always in control of the patron. And when she is not, she moves on to the next penis clad cash machine. The only cost to her is to turnover some obscene percentage of the take to her sleazy male boss. It’s a business after all, and business is still a male dominated endeavor.

Third, if one has ever listened to Imus for more than an hour, one knows he and his cronies takes delight in sexually stereotyping and demeaning women. This idea that Charles and he are better than that is all part of the act.

For instance, a few minutes further into the same interview, Imus commented on the “balls” it took for Maureen Dowd to write a particular op-ed piece about Judith Millera remark that she quickly and graciously accepted with a simple and sweet, “thank you”. Although I haven’t checked, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that Ms. Dowd does not have testicles. So why was she so quick to acknowledge and accept what I’m guessing she felt was a compliment? I’m pretty sure that bravery, fearlessness, strength, and convictionall nice attributes to have when kept in check by common senseare not gender assigned. And I’m positive they are not a function of male genitalia. I’m equally convinced that reluctance, fearfulness, and weakness do not require one to have a vagina.

It’s one thing, a very feeble thing at that, for Imus and his crew or even Jon Stewart and Al Franken for that matterall professed non-chauviniststo use male-centric language in an “equal opportunity” way; misguided into believing that somehow they are treating women and men equally.

It is another thing though for Maureen Dowd to acknowledge and welcome her inclusion into the club. She could have simply said, “Imus are you suggesting that I have to be a man to be tough?”

I am sure if asked Maureen Dowd would say without hesitation that she is a feminist or at least a proponent of feminist beliefs. Why then did she let Imus off the hook and indulge in the myth?

Like many things about feminists, I don’t get it. They can be their own worst enemy from time to timejust like Democrats when they run a national campaign.

Here is another example of something I don’t get. Why do some corporate feminists find short tight skirts, plunging necklines and push-up bras to be the business suit of choice? I suppose they might argue, just as strippers might, that they are simply using their power over men to get what they want. And on some level I understand that argument: play into the male need to be the sexual alpha dog as long as the targeted objective is personal gain. This attitude however strikes me as feeding the very stereotyping and sexism women want to end, which leads me into a short discussion of another dilemma I have with feminism.
Within the last few years, I have been introduced to the forefront of feminist thought. Well not introduced exactly, more like pummeled. Here is what I have learned. I have something called. “white male privilege”. Essentially, whether I consciously or subconsciously acknowledge that privilege, it doesn’t matter. I have it and I need to “own it”. I’m pretty sure that means I have to fess up to it and wear it like a scarlet letter (although a white penis will do just fine). Believe me! I understand the importance of the concept. The dried blood tracking from my ears is proof positive of the difficulties and hard work it took me to reach that understanding.

But that’s as far as the feminists have taken me. I’m afraid to tell them but it’s like a false crescendo. It can’t be the end of the symphony. Okay, so I “own” white male privilege. What next? There must be more. Am I supposed to give it up someday? Is it like owning an unregistered gun? Will there be a turn-in-your-white-male-privilege amnesty day? I’d be more than happy to if I just knew when, where and to whom? Or come to think of it, maybe not. What takes its place? Or worse, who gets it next? Gee, maybe I should take advantage of it more consciously while I still have it.

Anyway, in the meantime, as I meander aimlessly, I’m going to refrain from saying stuff like, “Hey that Barbara Boxer, she sure has some pouch of brass nuggets on her.” I will also try to be more cognizant of this privilege I have and renounce it at every turn. It’s all I can do until I get further instructions.

You know, I can’t help but think if reincarnation happens, I might want to come back as an earthworm. They have both the male and female sex organs. When they mate they impregnate each other. Everything is “even up”. And the result is that they are a pretty happy bunch. You don’t hear about earthworms having male/female issues. Okay so they have other issuesfish hooks being a big one. But quite frankly, I’m not sure that is any worse; sometimes I think it is a whole lot better.

The above article was wrtten by humorist Robert Crane. Similar articles, short stories, and satire by Robert can be found at his popular site: http://www.cranelegs.com

Drop by!

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Mobile phones no longer remain the same as they used to be earlier. Today, free download ringtone music and other accessories such as wallpapers reflect the personality of a person. Ringtone is a music or tone that sounds when there is an incoming call in the mobile. When there are many mobile phones users at a place, customized ringtones make you know that which one is your call.

T-mobile ringtones can be purchased or downloaded from different sites on the internet. Many mobile phone providers have their own customized ringtones in their cell phones. When you use a cell phone you should always know whether your mobile phone supports or is compatible with other mobile accessories.

As music has overtaken the ringtone industry, more and more websites offer download ringtone for t mobile and other cell phone providers. Old beep tones has taken place of realtones, true tones, polyphonic ringtones monotones, mp3 ringtones and much more to choose from.

Polyphonic ringtones being made of multiple channels provide much quality sound. They are available in the form of midi files easily available on the internet.
With the new trends, music ringtones are in latest fashion and demand whereby each new composition is available in the mp3 audio format. Youngsters have a craze to get these ringtones into their own mobile phones.

Not only the user but also other people who hear these music sounds feel pleased. These ringtones are available in all genres, dialogues from humorous parodies, recorded sound effects or even customized voice of your near and dear ones.

For further information visit our recommended website t-mobile-ringtone.info

Olivia Andrews is a freelance journalist and has written many reviews on subjects such as finance, education, entertainment, music, apparels and mobile phones.

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We are all affected by humour. The Webster’s Dictionary definition of humour is “a normal functioning bodily semi fluid or fluid (as the blood or nymph).” I have no clue what this means, but to me humour is something funny. I kind of liked the part about the nymph, but the rest of that definition is lost on me.

The first recorded occurrence of humour was found on the cave walls of Lascaux. Sometime in 1957, Archaeologists unearthed a carving, primitive in construction, of a black guy, a Jewish guy, and a Polish guy walking into a bar. The punch line is no longer decipherable, but cultural anthropologists have speculated that, since these carvings were made in France, it is likely that the three bar patrons were refused service by obnoxious waiters. This illustrates the fact that different cultures have different conceptions of what is funny.

For example, there is a type of humour which is often referred to as “British,” this is most likely because it comes primarily from Great “Britain.” British humour usually falls into two categories: funny and weird, or stupid and weird. Both types more often than not involve men dressing as women, a device which, like the metric system, has been imported into American comedy with varying degrees of success. It never ceases to amaze me that this is considered to be the pinnacle of humour.

An analysis of British comedy provokes some key questions: How does British humour fit into the larger cultural framework? If there is a God, and he is merciful, then why does ‘Benny Hill’ exist? Is it possible to enjoy a Monty Python film if you watch it with someone who insists on saying every line along with the actors? Do all those people who refer to Shakespeare’s ‘comedies’ truly think that his stuff is funny, or are they just embarrassed because they don’t get it either?

It is true that humour can vary according to culture, but there are some things that everyone can agree on. For example, everyone knows that there are some things which just are not funny: AIDS, the Holocaust, and any film staring Chevy Chase. Beyond this common ground there is much disagreement as to what is funny. I have witnessed, first hand, many otherwise sane people who find Jim Carrey to be intensely humorous. While I am willing to allow that a man who makes funny faces at the camera is amusing to small children and the intellectually challenged, I have serious doubts about a society that sanctions his being paid $7 million to film two hours of fart jokes.

Ultimately, humour, much like intelligence, is about associations. If you combine two elements that people wouldn’t normally associate, like chocolate and peanut butter, or Tony Blair and ethics, then you’ve said something humorous. “Cows and scientology.” That’s funny. Don’t ask why, but it is. So learn to appreciate the humour that surrounds you, because laughter, like radiation, brightens our lives. And laughter lasts much longer.

David Stockdale is a man without an agenda. He uses his writing as a tool to express ‘his’ opinion in a world all too often concerned only by the voice of the majority.

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Have you purchased your tickets for your vacation in outer space yet? There might be a day coming real soon where instead of going to the Bahamas for a week you can take a space shuttle up to outer space and spend a week in the hippest space hotel. Just sitting here thinking about it fires up the brain to start imagining and how cool it would be for that to happen. To be able to be in outer space and look at the earth and see how truly humungous our universe is would be so great. A lot of times we can get so caught up in our lives and forget how big everything outside of us is. The universe is a lot bigger than we often give thought too.

The hotels that will be available are going to be top notch, with the newest and greatest gizmos and gadgets. I hope that they have a few anti-gravity rooms available. There could be the dry pool, and this is where you could take your energy and diet supplements, like acceletrim, and exercise without gravity. You could do a few laps in the dry pool and you will be swimming just like if there was water there. The thing that would make this work would be the walls and the look of the room, it could look just like a pool area. There are so many neat things that can be thought off and created, it is going to be so much fun, so hurry up time, we all want to take a vacation in outer space.

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Mamma was a strong believer in heredity, and she believed our family’s German heritage predisposed us to two things: hard work and stubbornness. The gene for hard work lay pretty low in us kids while we were growing up, but stubbornness kicked in fast.

So one might say that what happened one summer evening in the late 1940s was all our ancestors’ doing.

Daddy was getting ready to go to a church board meeting. Four-year-old Davie wanted to go to the board meeting too. (Right from the start, Davie liked to go places, while Mamma, Daddy, and I liked to stay places.) We explained that board meetings were for grownups only. He still wanted to go. We explained that board meetings were for board members only. He still wanted to go. We all stood around the bedroom, while Daddy knotted his tie and combed his hair, and we took turns explaining what a miserable time Davie would have at a board meeting. By that time the conversation was getting heated and tears were beginning to flow, but also by that time Daddy was ready to leave and it was time to leave, so he left.

I watched the cloud of dust as the little black Chevy coupe sped up the hill next to our Montana farmhouse. And then I noticed at the rear of the dust cloud a tiny figure. Davie on his tricycle was bravely pedaling after. Clearly he intended to tricycle the five miles to the board meeting.

I watched him for several minutes. He got up some pretty good speed on the slope down toward the creek. But then the hill began, and the lower part of the hill was almost vertical. The tricycle wheels moved slower and slower, but Davie’s legs were still pushing. Davie wasn’t giving up.

About that time I thought to tell Mamma, and she realized what I had not: if a car should come swooping down that hill, it would mash Davie and his tricycle flat before the driver even saw them. Mamma was off like a shot, and I was able to observe the result of two objects with the same trajectory traveling at different rates of speed.

Davie was surprisingly docile once Mamma landed on him, and it appeared he had been defeated, but he had not. His views were unchanged. He still thought going was better than staying and going places on wheels was better than anything else.

About the Author

Go STEAMIN’ DOWN THE TRACKS WITH VIOLA HOCKENBERRY, a storytelling cookbook — and find Montana country cooking, nostalgic stories, and gift ideas — at Janette Blackwell’s Food and Fiction, http://foodandfiction.com/Entrance.html — or visit her Delightful Food Directory, http://delightfulfood.com/main.html

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There is no denying the fact that the triumph of a firm ultimately is attributed to the work undertaken by the workers, however one event can wipe out your work and bring down the financial profits to zero. So, to keep away from such an instance, you need to insure your firm, whether it is a small firm or a big corporation. Nonetheless, please remember that smaller organisations are considerably more probable to need business insurance cover in today’s world. This is preliminary because smaller business owners will have placed their whole lives & pay packet straight into the organisation.

A few of the things commonly protected by the majority of business insurance covers consist of: natural disasters, hurricanes, mechanism or equipment defect that closes the company, loss of revenue because of personnel failure and court cases brought against the firm. Find out where to buy public liability insurance in UK here.

There are numerous insurance businesses, which have policies that include both protection for all chief property and legal risks in one group package. You can also select a separate coverage. Such cover is frequently nicknamed as a business owners’ policy (BOP). Large enterprises may get a business-related policy.

BOPs comprise of office insurance for buildings & kit owned by the company. If there is any loss of revenue due to disruption of operation & commerce because of tragedies like landslides, it can be insured under the Business Interruption Insurance.

There are policies, which insure the company’s legal liability for the injury it may well cause to others. It is the result your firm’s failure to do the business operations. It can also be the physical injury or property damage caused owing to imperfect items, faulty installations & slips in services provided.

However, BOPs don’t protect against professional liability, vehicle cover, workers’ costs or health and disability insurance. In this instance separate insurance policies are needed for professional services, motor vehicles & staff. Commonly, floods, earthquakes & terrorist attacks are not protected in the business insurance. Please make sure before you purchase!

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Secret Tips For Negotiating Your Credit Card Debt

Most people think that it is unimaginable for a individual to negotiate their credit card debt with a credit card company because the company is not interested in working out a deal with the individuals that have their credit cards. The truth is that many of these credit card companies may be inclined to speak to you and work out some kind of payment plan for your debt because they would rather recoup some of the money that you owe to them easily instead of having to pay someone to continuously contact you about the debt and possibly not acquire any payments from you at all. There are a number of different things you should hold in mind when seeking to negotiate your credit card debt and keeping these things in mind may aid you a great deal in your pursuits.

When negotiating with your credit card company, it is critical that you are honest about your debt situation. Credit card companies can be very tolerant when a person has real hardships in their lives. Some credit card companies are now providing a type of insurance that allows you to halt payments if going through a personal crisis.

The next matter that you want to think of when attempting to negotiate credit card debt is to make sure that you are speaking with a individual that will really be able to aid you. Many of the low level employees at the credit card company may be instructed that they are not permitted to make those kinds of decisions for the customer and may attempt to deter you from engaging the matter further by stating that there is nothing that they can do for you. Be persistent until you do find someone in the company that may be able to service you and travel to the local branch of the company, if you are able, to talk to someone about your situation face to face.

Always remember to be polite and respectful when talking to your credit card company about negotiating your debt. It may be hard at times, but getting angry at them will only make things worse. Being respectful to those attempting to assist you is very essential for seeing any results. Remember, you want these people to help lower your debt, not make things worse for you.

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Numerous gamers will certainly have stumbled upon the term “offshore sports betting”, but some might not be totally convinced of what that refers to. An overseas betting web site essentially works extrinsically to the administration of a given country or else it could mean a web based gaming website which has their master computer in a country in which machine-accessible gambling is not currently disallowed. Concisely therefore, it’s a sports gambling business functioning extraneous to the land of the customer. Machine-accessible gambling websites are mostly regulated by 3 institutions. They are OSGA (the Offshore Gaming Association), IGC (Interactive Gaming Council) and finally the Fidelity Trust Gaming Association FTGA.

The OSGA is a self ordering “watch-dog” body that currently keeps tabs on the overseas betting industry with a mission to also provide betters the facility to identify honorable internet businesses to play gambling games on, without having to worry. It strives to champion client’s rights, additionally they don’t demand any association fees.

The OSGA are a proficient and neutral third party affiliation who formulate neutral viewpoints, founded around your comments, unbiased inquiry, phone conversations, inside information and additionally supplies industry information.

The IGC is a not-for-profit agency. The organisation was created to allow a platform for concerned people to address questions and also to advance collective matters in the multinational interactive sports gambling profession, in an effort to establish even-handed not to mention level headed commercial standard procedures and practices that raise client faith in web based betting merchandise and utilities, and in addition to serve as the industry’s general practise representative not to mention the IGC acts as an information depot.

The Interactive Gaming Council have built a distinction for stimulating trustworthiness, stability also credibility thanks to the exacting standards it establishes, and also its allure for business concerns of responsible practise. The IGC regularizes overseas gaming by upholding a characteristic ten point series of instructions and also bills sports betting business enterprises fees for using the council’s logo. Dissatisfied clients can also disclose their misunderstandings to the Interactive Gaming Council.

The FTGA has been established in a venture to construct a benchmark which will raise the transactions of online sports gaming internet sites. The IGC believe that by conducting business only with enterprises of honorable standing, they are able to forge a union of the most ethical and most competent offshore betting operations worldwide.

To sum up, these are organizations that function to oversee the dealings practised by computer accessible gambling and which should assist to relieve most if not all of the misgivings felt by bettors. Internet sports gambling web sites are entirely harmless, now that personal details are no longer necessary and also the dividends not to mention the odds are equivalent to a normal Vegas-style stake. They cut travel outlay, but still maintain the ethos of a Vegas gaming website, however nowadays you are enabled to wager in the comfort of your own beloved surroundings.

money to place an online sports bet

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