It was a typical evening in our home. Arguments from my teenager, opposition from my preschooler - family dynamics that were driving me crazy. I don’t remember quite what sent me over the edge. I do remember reaching my limit. We’ve all been there. However, this time, for me, was different. Usually, I am a flexible and patient parent. Mrs. Incredible I was not this night. I was unwilling to stretch any further. In other words, I developed an immediate no-nonsense attitude and set to work on putting in place a new plan for my children.

I decided my children need to understand what “honor and respect your parents” means. Sitting in front of my computer, I defined “respect” and “disrespect” in terms my children would understand. Respect meant saying yes instead of no, listening fast instead of slow, saying okay and doing what I ask them to do, and dealing with their anger appropriately. Disrespectful behaviors, on the other hand, were talking back, arguing, and ignoring me, yelling or making demeaning remarks.

Being well educated in behavior management techniques, I set out to create a chart that would be used to reward and discipline respectful and disrespectful behaviors. At the top of the chart was the big title, “Honor and Respect Your Parents”. Underneath the title were the definitions of respect and disrespect. A behavior management chart is not complete without the rewards and penalties. The penalty for disrespect was an automatic check mark and a loss of 4 hours of video/computer/TV time. The penalty can be whatever one wants. The important thing is that it is immediate and painful for the child. I am not advocating physical pain - just taking away something that is important to the child. On my chart, the reward for respectful behavior was a sticker. Five stickers was equivalent to one hour of special privilege time. The chart was divided into 4 sections because I have two children. The top half was reserved for my teenager and the bottom half was for my preschooler. Each of them had two sections - one for respect and one for disrespect. After explaining to my children what was expected of them and how things were going to work, we put the new program into place.

Now, it is very easy to recognize disrespectful behavior because it is annoying and challenging. However, it is more important to notice the respectful behavior if you are going to make changes in your children. This is what I did. Every single time my children responded to me with respectful behavior, I would say, “Wow, you just earned a sticker”. I would put a sticker on the chart immediately. Another important aspect of this type of system is that all family members are on the same page. Your expectations are the same for each child. If you are trying to discourage hitting, for instance, no one is exempt. One might be tempted to be harder on an older child, and let a toddler slip by. This will discourage your children if they are not treated fairly. At the same time, your husband or any other adult responsible for disciplining the children, must also understand and adhere to the new plan. Make sure you are not in disagreement with other adults in the home or the children will be confused, and behavior changes will not happen.

Now, I knew my four year old would love stickers, but I wasn’t so sure about the ability of stickers to motivate my fourteen year old. Something unexpected set into motion. Because I have two boys, the game soon became a competition to get tons of stickers. There was even a little healthy competition between the two of them to act respectfully. Now, of course, they tested me to see if I was really serious about penalties for disrespect. They learned the hard way that I was not going to tolerate disrespect. A few check marks were issued, but the most exhilarating result was that I am finally hearing two beautiful words most of the time: “OKAY MOM”. What a change has taken place in our home. Our environment is more positive and peaceful. The children are learning an extremely important life lesson. We have since graduated from “Honor and respect your parents” to “Honor and respect everyone”. This cuts down on sibling disputes and teaches children that everyone is worthy of respect.

This type of behavior management system can be used with any type of child behavior you are trying to change. Define for your children what the desired and undesirable behavior look like. Institute a rewards and consequences program that fits your children. Notice and reward the desired behavior every time you see it. Immediately and consistently issue a consequence for the undesirable behavior. Success depends on rewarding the good often, making the consequences for the bad painful, and CONSISTENCY! Soon, you too, may hear music in your ears or see beauty from your eyes.

Lori Radun, CEC - certified life coach for moms. To
get her FREE newsletter and the special report “155 Things Moms Can Do to
Raise Great Children”, go to
http://www.true2youlifecoaching.com

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Most of us can agree that there is a lack of ethics standards within professional sports today. The fact that many of today’s sports heroes are ethical is a stroke of luck. The fact is - many sports superstars are good people, but what about the “bad apples” that shame their sport, teammates, communities, fans, and team owners?

Many children look up to professional players as role models. They copy the actions of their “super heroes,” even down to drug abuse, trash talking, steroid use, bad attitudes, and getting away with crimes.

Some sports heroes don’t like to sign autographs, disrespect the fans, and do not feel it is part of their job to be a good role model. They were born with “God given” talent and take everything for granted. Even better, whatever they get is not good enough. So, your child is looking in admiration at a “spoiled child.”

What’s the average parent to do? You struggle with paying your bills, and get to listen to a millionaire complain that he is not making enough. Possibly, he is having trouble making his child support payments that are a result of one of his many casual relationships.

Do you want to have your child look up to somebody who says six, ten, or forty-nine million dollars is not enough? Meanwhile, you are figuring out if you have to work an extra job, or cutback on your groceries, in order to pay this month’s rent.

If you want to take control of society, it starts with a single act. The act is for each of us to write the owners of local sports teams, and local legislators, insisting on a player’s ethics agreement. This would require them to behave as a role model on, and off, the field. Otherwise, they would be banned from the sport. It might be nice to see a complaining millionaire bagging groceries in your local supermarket. A little humility could go a long way in life.

You might think, this is impossible - the team owners are motivated by profit. Yes, they are, and profits come from your pocket. Write them enough and they will take action. Look at all the corporate sponsors for help. They pay millions in advertising for these teams and don’t want to risk a consumer boycott.

Let’s look back into recent history. The NFL owners came to an agreement about salary caps for players. The owners came together for financial survival. Team owners can also react when there is a public outcry for action. For example: Instant replay, steroid abuse investigations, and rules committees, happened in response to public outcries.

The sports team owners can band together, when needed, and the player’s unions will respond to consumers, as well. In fact, the player’s unions will react to mass mail. So, take action while you can. Our children are impressionable, and all we ask is that sports teams have good role models on their rosters, for children to look up to. The end result will be less crime and a lot more respect.

Paul Jerard is a co-owner and the director of Yoga teacher training at: Aura Wellness Center, in North Providence, RI. He has been a certified Master Yoga teacher since 1995. He is a master instructor of martial arts, with multiple Black Belts, four martial arts teaching credentials, and was recently inducted into the USA Martial Arts Hall of Fame. He teaches Yoga, martial arts, and fitness to children, adults, and seniors in the greater Providence area. Recently he wrote: Is Running a Yoga Business Right for You? For Yoga students, who may be considering a new career as a Yoga teacher. http://www.yoga-teacher-training.org/index.html

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Almost everyone in the family gets excited when the mother is conceiving a child and everyone would want to know as well whether the baby’s a girl or a boy. Upon knowing the baby’s gender, most couples rush to the store to buy clothes and other stuff for the baby. This is especially true for first-time parents.

Today, most couples rely on the doctor’s ultrasound findings to know their unborn baby’s gender. The picture of the baby’s body tissues that is shown in the machine’s screen are outlined by the echo patterns produced by the bouncing of the high-energy sound waves on the internal tissues and organs.

It’s quite interesting to note that long before this modern imaging method was invented, the Chinese people in particular have already devised a method to know beforehand the gender of the baby. They use the conception chart.

Conception chart has also been referred to as Chinese gender chart, Chinese birth gender chart and Chinese gender selection birth chart. This method of knowing the gender of the expected baby is an ancient method, discovered in the thirteenth century in a place near Beijing, China. It was buried for more than seven centuries in a tomb that is believed to belong to a noble Chinese. If you happen to go to Beijing, you can find that antique Chinese conception chart in the Beijing Institute of Science.

This chart has two variables: the month the baby was conceived and the age of the mother. It looks like a multiplication table where rows and columns are headed by the two variables. In the cells below or beside the column and row headings are letters “B” and “G” that stand for boy and girl respectively. The months can be placed either on top of and across the grid while the ages are on the left side downwards or vice versa.

One can determine the gender of the baby by cross-referencing the first variable with the second. So for example, if an 18-year old mother conceives in September, the baby is a boy as predicted by the conception chart. If a 30-year old mother conceives in May, the baby is a girl. When the mother is 45 years old and conceives in the month of January, her baby is a girl.

To date, scientists still remain skeptic about its accuracy as no scientific study has ever verified it yet. Science maintains that gender is determined by the baby’s chromosomes. Those who believe and use the old Chinese conception chart method though claim that the conception chart is 93% accurate.

Trying this method can be fun. Just like in a guessing game, finding out that the chart’s prediction is actually correct after you or your wife have given birth gives you a feeling of victory. You can find lots of copies of this chart online so just browse through the Internet to get one and predict your child’s gender in no time. But if you want a very accurate and reliable answer, it would be best to go to your obstetrician for an ultrasound.

Dave Poon is an accomplished writer who specializes in the latest in babies and toddler care. For more information regarding conception charts, please drop by at http://www.babyinfoforyou.com

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There is nothing more fun than getting your baby used to the water on a warm sunny day. If you are trying to acclimate your baby to the water or just teaching the basics of kicking and splashing, you will want a quantity of baby pool floats available. These pool toys are more than that; they are a means of pool safety for your child. Babies need a means of staying afloat without you holding them. They need to feel like they are part of the water and what it means to get wet in a bigger body of water than the bath tub. If you are relaxed and assured that your baby is safe in the water; you will display that relaxation to the baby and they will be more comfortable and less afraid. Pool floats give you that extra feeling of safety without constantly holding your baby.

There are numerous types and styles of floats on the market; it just depends on what you want to do with your baby and how old your child is. Some of the styles of floats are the boats. You can find little jet skis that inflate and little tug boats where the baby can sit on them. If you are into race cars; pool floats in the style of police or race cars are fun for the kids. How about a jet airliner for your baby to float in the pool? If your child is quite young; you can find a pool float that is more of a car seat style to just have the baby sit in. I have seen an adorable pool float that is in the shape of an island with a palm tree covering the baby. Any shading for a small baby is important because they will burn so quickly. There are always the rings or inner tube style, but how about a float that is in the shape of a turtle, shark, whale or alligator? You can also find swimming suits that are made of material that will float as well. They can learn how to kick and splash without being encumbered by a bulky vest.

Swimming is something your child will probably do the rest of their life; you owe it to them to get them used to the water at an early age so they won’t be afraid. Even though you have gone the measure of purchasing colorful pool floats for safety, you can never take your eyes off a child in the water. There are no absolutes when it comes to water safety. However, if you pick out different styles of floats for your baby they will enjoy the experience, get in the water easily and you both will have fun learning how to swim with that little extra measure of safety.

Beverly Marshall is a successful freelance writer offering guidance and suggestions for consumers buying a hot tub, supplies for pools, pool heater, sauna, Jacuzzi, above ground swimming pools and more. She gives information and tips to help save you money and make informed buying decisions.

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